Seeking further philosophical edification

first_img Twitter Pinterest Facebook Share on WhatsApp SUPPORT THE GUARDIANProducing the Guardian’s thoughtful, in-depth journalism – the stuff not normally found in this email, obviously – is expensive, but supporting us isn’t. If you value our journalism, please support us by making a one-off or recurring contribution.FIVER LETTERS“Surely taking refuge behind the Chinese censorship wall is entirely sensible of the EFL after the first two draw fiascos” – Alex Folkes.Following Mr Wenger Out’s comments about Granit Xhaka in the recent away loss, does this mean the bar has been lowered for future Arsenal signings that have cut their teeth abroad to ‘Yes, but will he perform in Stoke on a sunny afternoon in August?’” – Graham Haslam. “Can I take my eclipse glasses off now? They’ve saved my eyesight by preventing me looking directly at the atomic flash of Newcastle’s season exploding before August has ended. Duck and cover, lads” – Mark McFadden.“I‘m writing to recommended you our top-rated hardware and forming machines in Asia and I have an idea that can help you to get your next 100 customers. Please feel free to contact us and I can share this idea with you” – Yuquan Liang.Send your letters to [email protected] And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is Graham Haslam.RECOMMENDED LOOKINGDavid Squires on Chelsea v Tottenham, Marko Arnautovic and some other highlights from week two of the Premier League. Share on Facebook The Fiver Eni Aluko. Photograph: Karen Robinson/The Observer Pinterest Facebook BITS, BOBS AND NEWSThe PFA has backed the call for a new “open, transparent and independent investigation” into how Eni Aluko’s claims of racism and bullying were handled by the Football Association.Barcelona have hit Neymar right where it hurts – in the, um, pocket – by announcing they are suing the Brazilian for €8.5m over a breach of contract regarding the striker’s world-record €222m transfer to PSG.Those pesky Fancy Bears are back, and they say 25 players from 12 countries were given TUEs during the 2010 World Cup. Crystal Palace have the eyes for RB Leipzig and Scotland winger Oliver Burke, who is going to dent the coffers to the tune of £15m, despite starting only five league games since his £13m move from Nottingham Forest this time last year. The EFL is investigating after female football fans were allegedly made to show their bras during “grossly invasive” security searches at Stevenage on Saturday. “At this current time the EFL’s security adviser is looking further into the matters raised and will be seeking the observations of both clubs,” said a suit.Kylian Mbappé and his entourage have been criticised by Monaco supporters for their conduct during this summer’s transfer window. “We would like to remind Kylian Mbappé and his clan that nothing and nobody is above the institution of AS Monaco,” the Ultras Monaco 1994 fans group boomed.And it is business as usual for Sergio Agüero and Dominic Calvert-Lewin, with both avoiding action for simulation under new FA rules. Chelsea goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois has waded in on Spurs’ Wembley curse. “If they make more noise it would be better for them but, in the first half, if you have to put some noise over the speakers to make some atmosphere I don’t think it is working very well,” he parped.STILL WANT MORE?How did a family inspire a football revolution for girls in Pakistan? Suzanne Wrack tells all. Share on Messenger Pinterest Topics Share via Emailcenter_img Reuse this content Twitter Girls play football on a dusty pitch in Shimshal Photograph: Suzanne Wrack Football It’s ya boy. Photograph: David Squires for the Guardian YESTERDAY v TOMORROW … TODAY!!!It doesn’t seem too long ago when 2011’s Jack Wilshere was considered the future of English football. We can’t put an exact date on it, our memory’s shot to pieces, but it was recent enough and you get the general point. So sad, then, to last night witness the 25-year-old Arsenal midfielder, 25, reduced to throwing hands at a couple of 17-year-olds in an under-23 game. In scenes resembling that time Weird Uncle Fiver finally snapped at the kids outside the 7-Eleven who relentlessly mock his egg-stained string vest and self-administered haircut every time he pops in for his daily paper and four-pack of Purple Tin, Wilshere responded to a heavy tackle by wildly throwing hands at Manchester City youngsters Matthew Smith and Tyreke Wilson in the passionate style. It was only ever going to end one way. Oh Jack! In some respects, Wilshere’s reaction was perhaps understandable, when you take into account his struggles with a damaged ankle, broken leg and overheating head. But as Weird Uncle Fiver reflected as the magistrate sentenced him to three months in the cooler, sometimes it’s better to bite one’s lip, take a deep breath and walk on by. Because sure enough last night, Wilshere was sent packing along with Wilson, then attempted to offer the starlet some beneficial advice as they perambulated down the tunnel. Arsenal eventually won the game 4-3, while after a steaming-hot early bath, England’s emerging elder statesmen took to a popular social networking site seeking further philosophical edification with the first tut-tutting journalist to pop up on his timeline. Oh Jack!Also growing into his role as respected veteran is Wayne Rooney, who is only six years older than Wilshere, a fact that’s just bent the Fiver’s admittedly pliable mind all out of shape. Rooney is currently enjoying something of a career renaissance at Everton, having played quite well in two consecutive games for the first time since, off the top of the Fiver’s head, but this sounds about right, 2008. As a result, he’s now being strongly tipped for a recall to the England team, after being overlooked for the matches against Scotland and Spain because that was the way the wind was blowing back in June. “I’m sure I’ll speak to Gareth Southgate over the next few days,” smiled a satisfied Rooney. “We’ll see what happens.” Here’s hoping the old boy gets into the squad for the World Cup qualifiers against Malta and Slovakia, then. If only to show Po’ Jack that there’s always time to turn around a stuttering career, even when you’re getting on a bit.ON BIG WEBSITETONIGHT NOW!Join Scott Murray right now for hot MBM coverage of Astana v Celtic in the Champions League play-off second leg. Jeopardy warning – Celtic are only the five goals up from the first leg. QUOTE OF THE DAY“We were in the hotel before the Germany game [in November 2014]. Everybody was excited. It was a big game. On the wall there was a list of the family and friends who were coming to watch us and I just happened to be next to Mark [Sampson]. He asked me if I had anyone who would be there and I said I had family coming over from Nigeria. ‘Oh,’ he said. ‘Nigeria? Make sure they don’t bring Ebola with them’” – if you haven’t already, do read Daniel Taylor’s extraordinary interview with Eni Aluko. features Facebook Share on LinkedIn Share on Pinterest Share on Twitter Twitter Oh, didn’t you hear?! Wayne Rooney’s back, baby. So says Jamie Jackson.Want to know how to ghost write a football book? Owen Amos has the answers.La Liga blog time! Girona has a whacking good restaurant and now the city has a team in La Liga too, writes Sid Lowe. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!SO LONG, DARK ARTSlast_img

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