Guru

first_imgThis week’s guruAbsence makes art glow strongerGuru has been following the debate in Personnel Today’s letters page onwhether GPs are contributing to sickness absence rates by their willingness toissue sicknotes. There is no doubt that managing absence is one of the biggest challengesfacing HR as organisations, reluctant to recruit in the face of the ongoingeconomic downturn, are under even more pressure to make the most of theirexisting workforce. Guru has always explained to his line manager that the reason for hisoccasional absences is that he is like a finely-tuned racehorse – prone toinjury, but worth persevering with because he is capable of first-classresults. But the subject presents a tricky challenge for HR in striking a balancebetween providing support, advice and understanding to genuinely ill staffwhile cracking down on those who try and take advantage of employers. Guru invites readers to contribute to the debate – but there is one catch –comments must be made in limerick form. To get you started, Guru has outlinedhis no-nonsense approach: If your workers are taking the mick And signing them selves off sick A Victorian state You should quickly create And beat them about with a stick Published efforts will receive a beautifully handcrafted Guru mouse mat. Guru brews some prize penicillium Guru is not usually competitive but he has at last found a challenge he hasa genuine chance of winning. Scientists have launched a search for Britain’s most stomach-churningunwashed coffee mug. The Royal Society of Chemistry wants to inspect the most spectacular growthof green gunge to be found in a forgotten mug at work. To qualify, the mouldfloating on the top of the left-over coffee must be clearly discernible. It organised the contest to mark the discovery of penicillin 75 years ago.And although coffee cup cultures are often green, any disgusting range ofcolour is acceptable. Staff in offices, factories and other workplaces are being asked to submitphotos – but not to have the rank mugs delivered. Guru is confident his coffee mug will win – rotting globules of coffee, milkand tea have been carefully nurtured over three years to form a germ culture sovirulent it has mutated into a life form, which he affectionately calls‘Brian’. Photographs should be e-mailed to [email protected] the wind up Swedish tribunals A lot of employment disputes end up at tribunal because one side or theother ends up talking hot air. However, in a recent Swedish employment tribunal case hot air proved to bethe pivotal issue the whole workplace disagreement centred on. Computer technician Goran Andervass was awarded nearly £60,000 compensationafter being sacked for telling off a colleague for breaking wind. He took theSwedish Bank at Riksbanken to an industrial tribunal for unfair dismissal. Andervass said he rebuked his un-named co-worker as he believed he haddeliberately broken wind in his office. The colleague complained to management who suspended Andervass and latermade him redundant. Guru’s colleagues agree with Krister Skoglund of the Swedish WorkEnvironment Authority, who commented: “If a fart is done on purpose whengoing into somebody’s office it is important that management takes the matterseriously.” Related posts:No related photos. Previous Article Next Article Comments are closed. GuruOn 9 Sep 2003 in Personnel Todaylast_img

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